Skills for Embodied Living
First, I just wanna say how moved I am that folks are thinking in these ways. It is a deep principle that I carry that we all are capable of healing and growing. I use that language of difficult people specifically because overachieving trauma survivors tend to move with a growth mindset. We tend to think it can be fixed, it can be changed, it can be grown. And that capacity can be a tremendous gift – the capacity to see what’s possible beyond the hard moments.
As you know, we are talking a lot about boundaries as we prepare for the launch of my new program, Badass Boundaries for Overachieving Trauma Survivors, and I’m hearing from many of you about your boundary challenges and questions. Some of your questions have been so good, that I just couldn’t wait. So I decided to respond to a few here in my blog over the coming weeks.
So this post is in response to the person who asked how to increase their sense of safety so they can stay present when it’s time to make a boundary. They said that when they need to make a boundary, they find themselves going kind of numb and disconnecting, and they wanted to stay present and connected, in particular with their loved ones, when they needed to set a limit.
I used to think that I was good at self care. I was in really good psychotherapy. I got acupuncture and chiropractic support regularly. I exercised, meditated and took vacations, danced and practiced singing. I didn’t cook enough meals at home, but when I did they were healthy and delicious. And maybe, in these ways, […]
Like many people, I have a list of daily self-care rituals that I strive to maintain – meditation, exercise, preparing good food for the day… I figure, if I’m going to help people take better care of themselves, I also need to be a model for that kind of self-love. Lately, however, I’ve been noticing […]
I recently posted this TED talk with Ester Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, on Facebook. She’s talking about how to sustain desire in long term relationships. I really enjoyed the talk because she did such a good job naming the impediments to maintaining a satisfying level of sexual intimacy over time. Often when I’m […]
It seems obvious to most people that boundaries are a necessary part of life. We say “yes” to some things and “no” to others. Yet many of us struggle to say no, especially when it feels like that “no” threatens to hurt an important relationship. Often when I first start working with someone around having […]
I just watched this video of time-lapse photography, accompanied by words from Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast, and I decided to share it. I’ve been thinking a lot about the mythology surrounding the American Thanksgiving holiday. It is beautiful to devote a day to the practice of thanks-giving… of offering gratitude for the land on […]
