Adventures in Woman-Centered Sexuality: A Critique of Masters & Johnson’s Human Sexual Response Cycle

Written by on January 5, 2017 in Cultural Studies, Sexuality with 0 Comments
Adventures in Woman-Centered Sexuality: A Critique of Masters & Johnson’s Human Sexual Response Cycle

In 1966, William Masters and Virginia Johnson published Human Sexual Response in which they described a four-stage sequence of physiological changes that occur as people (in particular, heterosexual couples having penile-vaginal intercourse) engage in sexually stimulating activities. This “sexual response cycle” model was revolutionary at the time because there really wasn’t a systematic view of what went on biologically […]

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What’s Power Got to Do With It When It Comes to Women’s Sexuality?

Written by on November 30, 2016 in Sexuality with 0 Comments
What’s Power Got to Do With It When It Comes to Women’s Sexuality?

Inevitably, when a woman comes in complaining about having a low libido, I get curious about the power dynamics in the her relationship.  What dance is she and her partner (or partners) engaged in?  What is her relationship to power?  Does she have a sense of personal authority, both in her relationship and in the rest […]

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Bring Back Date Night! Strategies for Couples Who Struggle with Scheduling Overwhelm

Written by on March 9, 2015 in Love, Relationships, Sexuality with 2 Comments
Bring Back Date Night! Strategies for Couples Who Struggle with Scheduling Overwhelm

So many of the couples and intimate partners I see complain of schedule overwhelm. Whether they’re worried about a lack of sex and intimate connection or incongruencies around childcare and housekeeping, time is, for many, a key barrier to feeling intimately connected.   While it is true that the pace of life is faster and faster […]

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Lessons in Time Management

Written by on January 28, 2014 in Mental Health, Skills for Embodied Living with 1 Comment

Like many people, I have a list of daily self-care rituals that I strive to maintain – meditation, exercise, preparing good food for the day… I figure, if I’m going to help people take better care of themselves, I also need to be a model for that kind of self-love. Lately, however, I’ve been noticing […]

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3 Common Reasons Couples Explore Open Relationships

The other day I was having a conversation with a woman who, though she identifies as staunchly monogamous, was curious about the group program I’m offering for couples who are interested in exploring open relationships.  She kept telling me how difficult it was for her to grasp why anyone would choose an open relationship.  We […]

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Sustaining Eroticism in Long Term Relationships

Written by on December 17, 2013 in Love, Relationships, Sexuality, Skills for Embodied Living with 4 Comments

I recently posted this TED talk with Ester Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, on Facebook.  She’s talking about how to sustain desire in long term relationships.  I really enjoyed the talk because she did such a good job naming the impediments to maintaining a satisfying level of sexual intimacy over time. Often when I’m […]

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Cultivating Healthy Boundaries

Written by on December 4, 2013 in Relationships, Skills for Embodied Living with 0 Comments
Cultivating Healthy Boundaries

It seems obvious to most people that boundaries are a necessary part of life.  We say “yes” to some things and “no” to others.  Yet many of us struggle to say no, especially when it feels like that “no” threatens to hurt an important relationship. Often when I first start working with someone around having […]

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Gratitude Day

Written by on November 29, 2013 in Cultural Studies, Skills for Embodied Living with 0 Comments

I just watched this video of time-lapse photography, accompanied by words from Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast, and I decided to share it. I’ve been thinking a lot about  the mythology surrounding the American Thanksgiving holiday.  It is beautiful to devote a day to the practice of thanks-giving… of offering gratitude for the land on […]

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Just tell the truth, why don’t cha!

Written by on June 5, 2013 in Love, Open Relationships, Polyamory, Relationships with 0 Comments

It seems like it should be easy, telling the truth.  Most people start their open relationships assuming that truth-telling is a no-brainer. That’s the point of being polyamorous, right?  You get to be open and honest about your multiple attractions and love interests. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always turn out to be so easy.  Where is […]

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Getting Off to a Good Start with Open Relationships

Written by on September 5, 2012 in Open Relationships, Polyamory, Psychotherapy, Relationships with 0 Comments

One of the questions I get asked over and over again by people embarking on the path of responsible non-monogamy is, “How does it actually work?”  It can sound like a great idea in principle, but in practice?  So I’ve decided to devote my next few posts to exploring some of the essential skills that […]

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